I Believe I Have Been ...

posting blogs for about six months now ... I remember starting with one about the time it would have been our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary and honeymoon ... We always reflected on those two weeks away from this country ... we had planned to go back ... again on our bucket list ... that is for daughter and I to do so ... she would like to travel to there too ... We hired a boat for one week and a car for the following ... such was the thoughtfulness of hubby to my roots ...

As a Precaution ... Yesterday ...

Early in the morning on waking up from my sleep, I had palpitations, breathlessness and lightheadedness and feeling strange to normal anxiety ... I first phoned 111 ...

Long story ... short ...

Taken to the local hospital A & E via an ambulance to check all is well ... the last time through those doors was with a throbbing thumb after crushing,splitting and breaking my thumb needing plastic surgeon care and numerous stitches... the waiting area had changed and was with more of a view of outside ... it seemed airy and spacious with pleasant staff ... 

On arrival I was immediately checked out again ... with another hook up on the numerous pads stuck on my body by the ambulance crew to the ECG ... although in a curtained cubicle ... well knowing what it is like with people milling about you ... I was on display to the world and his wife ... thankfully that ECG was also OK confirming the paramedics original result ... 

Next was a wait to have a blood test ... duly done ... then again to see the Doctor for results etc and phew ... I could go back home ...

The Change in My Shopping Ways ...

Since living in a medieval environment 

I became carried away with the time out today ... and my own shopping habits ... since that time end with my late husband. I have gradually but definitely noticed the change from Duke Of Edinburgh style food to conventional foods to starting and thinking about family and my favorite recipes 

Christmas Memories and More ...

Memories of long, long ago 

Homemade Christmas Yule logs ... school displays of our decorated Christmas cakes ... remembering Christmas before hubby and with my family while at school  

• An angel handmade sitting on top the tree 
• Snowmen handmade for the mantle piece 
• Homemade Christmas Crackers 
• All those handmade cards we make 

All timeless activities year in year out if we celebrate these occasions. In the later years with daughter understanding about all the different festivals across the world, just as I had done with the Girl Guides and Scouts when I grew up ... with all their traditions not just in this country but across the world ... 

My outfit one Christmas raises a chuckle. It is of a frilly white blouse with black knickerbockers ... The mickey taking of our outfits back then ... these were shop bought ... 

Summer Memories 

During the recent visit of my daughter looking at what was different in the de-clutter; she happen across a photo, she was fascinated as to how old I was ... the photo my late husband treasured of me at 18 ... in a homemade dress ... wearing a boater hat ... I was known for my hats and belts ... just as my daughter and her peers years later ...

A Walk Tomorrow ...

More rain tomorrow ? ... Only last weekend when we were in Eynsford ... on sharing the River Darent memories from when we were once in the area. How that river dried up on moving in further up on that same river ... back in the 90s ... to the naughty noughties; to within a whisker of flooding ... The time span of a riverbed dried completely out to very very nearly flooding on many occasions ... on the turn of the Millennium 

The irony we were flooded whilst living there ... not by the river while we lived by the side of it .... but from some burst water pipes up on the hill; which came cascading down through our village at that time ... 

The Walk Yesterday ...

showed the colours of the seasonal changes; which gave me a much needed lift to do the mundane things ... the colourful array of fruit and vegetables ... the twinkly array of goodies from Autumnal to Wintry Wonders and not just Christmas ...

It is an exciting time to shop ... too stressful for some ... I step back from doing the mundane tasks to enjoy the sparkly time and not getting wrapped up in the consumerism ... I look at it as a treat to shop when there is an exiting array to have a tiny treat for what you require to nourish for this weekend to come for a quiet celebration personal to me 

A Walk out to ...

do the mundane things in life ... to me I am actually getting out the home with no clambering through unnecessary clutter ... 

• To post a letter
• To pick up meds that have been increased 
• To shop
• To re-book medical appointments 

All those daily tasks denied those who are probably still in a situation I once was ... it is never far from my thoughts ... how we live ... 

Reminders Rather not ...

A most helpful time to have an aim ... let's still how this develops ... after all I can now get on with those plans ... only thing my mood has drastically dropped ... this quarter of the year is most difficult to get through without those unnecessary reminders of that time ... especially post illness when the mood naturally drops ... 

What Tomorrow Could Bring ...

A batter to mix
Into a Eves Pud, maybe
A door to fix
And I hope to see
Progress in a recipe
Inspired memories of long ago
Eating that special soup
And making new tastes too
With what I have in stock
And all those things ad hoc

Inspired to try a recipe ...

from the TV and I will go and get the ingredients and cook it ... I still value that. I appreciate in this time, that now once again I can do that ... The frustration and loss from inspiration on accessing the kitchen to do this ... again was not appreciated ...

In fact I came back from my family with a recipe last year, I still not made and cooked it myself yet 

What was the norm and then not ... 

It was usual for me to be engrossed in recipes on the TV ... unfortunately and eventually I very much lost interest. I have not done this in the last few years ... I have been given several recipes, especially for one, from thoughtful family on my recovery ... 

The recipe tonight is similar to the recipe from last year ... I am coming back ... 

In fact my sister asked what I had planned for the weekend, as did the dentist last week, as does everybody as is. I said I was making soup and a fruit pud. It will now be a savoury Bisto inspired tray bake ... mood dependent ...

Brownie In a Mug ...

student life flows from daughter to me. We were both highly amused at her Mum starting out again especially in the kitchen where we have a shared history of grief, beyond the loss of part of this family ... but the post hoarding replacements of unnecessary disorganisation of taken good stuff and leaving the rubbish ... 

And starting over again ... 

More Sparkles ... this time Fireworks ...

The most twinkly, pretty, diamond, sparkles and swirls of light I have seen for a while exploding in the sky ... but then it was Disney themed ... and set to the popular music of Disney ... my daughter was pleased I went to see them last night ... she stayed local to her uni ... 

She has been enjoying her placement at a school as part of her teacher training and was doing the marking of her pupils work, the night before. She has also enjoyed the lesson planning and taking the classes assigned. And working alongside her mentors, whilst learning this vocation. 

This Day Started Well ...

despite some dizziness today ... I was recalling the movies of all decades and particularly the black and white and cinematic colour films of very old .... I had the chance of watching while resting from a day or two constantly on the phone to caring health professionals when I reacted to meds etc 

I had to reiterate my current plans yet again .... until several emails later ... sorted ... 

I will attempt my cooking plans tomorrow ... hopefully a more peaceful day getting better ... It is a slow recovery with swift investigations as in these cases when something needs solving that is not always simple ...

A Bit Of a Sparkle

is returning each month that moves on by ... When I get to clean an area that became cluttered and now back in daily life order .... Using a bit of the rituals of the daily chores that keep it looking pleasant on the eye ... Only last year with time spent with my dying Dad away from this home ... I found every time On returning back home I could see how jaded this home had become ... 

Sights and smells missing so much from this home that once was ... The vibrancy of a once happy family life ... too giving the incentive for just me at the moment in time ...